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Helping your children through the pain of divorce

If the title of this blog post caught your eye, you are likely a concerned parent who is either divorcing or has finalized a divorce in the relatively recent past. Earlier this month, we posted a blog entitled, “If kids could fully express their feelings about your divorce.” In that post, we noted that kids and teens may be unable to fully understand or express their feelings about your divorce, even if they want to.

It can be difficult to watch your child struggle with his or her feelings about your divorce. Regardless of how his or her child custody arrangements are structured, divorce is always an adjustment, even for the smallest of children. You may be wondering how to help your child during this time. You know your child best and likely have some ideas of your own. Keeping these few additional tips in mind should help you and your child through this time of transition.

First, it is important to minimize the amount of change that your child is subjected to. Depending on your circumstances, you may be compelled to relocate or otherwise dramatically uproot your child’s schedule, schooling and contact with his or her other parent. However, you need not change everything. Even small consistencies can have an impact. If Tuesday has always been taco night in your house, consider keeping it that way no matter where you live.

Second, if you must spend time away from your child, stay connected in creative ways. In addition to phone calls, send electronic messages via email, Twitter, Facebook or the forum of your choice. Postal mail and care packages are also great choices. Never missing the chance to tell your child that you love him or her in any way you can is a good rule of thumb.

Source: Hitched, “12 Tips to Ease the Pain of Divorce for Children,” Harry H. Harrison, Jr., July 9, 2014

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