You can submit a child support payment to a county clerk or to your ex. Things can get messy if your ex happens to be a person you don’t trust. There have been instances in the past where a parent who has been making court-ordered support payments on time has faced accusations of being in arrears, which means owing back child support.
The following list includes helpful tips you can implement to prevent being falsely accused of not paying child support:
It’s a mistake to simply hand your ex a bunch of cash each month because that makes it easy for him or her to say they never received it. By documenting the money trail, you ensure that you can prove your payments. The burden of proof lies with you. If your ex accuses you of being in arrears, you must prove that you are not.
If your ex accuses you of being in arrears, the court will want to see evidence that proves the accusations are false. There have been negative connotations regarding dads who pay child support. In the media and elsewhere, the term “deadbeat dad” refers to men who fail miserably to uphold their parental obligations after divorce.
Getting divorced doesn’t mean you’re trying to abdicate your parental responsibilities. It also does not negate your parental rights. Even if accusations of being in arrears are false, it can be embarrassing and frustrating, and can take a lot of time and effort to prove that your payments are up to date. Implementing some of the tips shown in this blog post can help prevent false accusations. It is always good to know where to seek immediate legal support, however, just in case problems like this arise after your divorce.
]]>In the past, some custody exchanges have gone wrong, such as when one parent doesn’t show up. There have also been cases of violence, which show that emotions like frustration or anger can lead to serious legal problems when children are being transferred between households after a divorce. Keeping these tips in mind when you meet your ex to exchange custody can help avoid trouble.
Especially if you’re concerned about possible anger flare-ups, it’s always best to choose neutral, public locations for child custody exchanges. For example, you can agree to meet at your child’s school, a local police station or in the parking lot of a busy restaurant. The presence of other people coming and going creates a much lower risk of altercations than meeting in a remote or private setting.
If you worry that your ex might try to start trouble when you meet to exchange custody, you can always make sure to have another person with you to witness the exchange. This can be a family member or a trusted friend. In fact, you and your ex can agree in writing to have a particular third party present for all custody exchanges.
If you’re in a situation where you can barely be in the same room with your ex without arguing or you simply would rather avoid the stress of seeing your ex in person on a regular basis, you can ask another person to act on your behalf for child custody exchanges. It is best to incorporate terms for this arrangement into your child custody agreement. Your proxy can be a grandparent or other relative of your child or a trusted family friend.
Being diligent to make sure you are always compliant with the terms of your child custody agreement can help avoid disputes with your ex. Always be on time for custody exchanges. Never do anything outside the scope of the court order without first obtaining the court’s approval. Even something seemingly minor like changing the time of your meeting to exchange custody requires court approval if the initial time is written in the order.
If your ex is causing problems during child custody exchanges, you can turn to Louisiana child custody laws for guidance. Since parental conflict makes it difficult for children to cope with a divorce, it’s always best to resolve child custody issues in as swift and amicable a fashion as possible, seeking additional legal support as needed.
]]>Throughout the year, your children will have birthdays, school events and other times of celebration, such as the upcoming holiday season. Sharing custody does not mean that you and your ex must spend this time together, unless, of course, you choose to do so. If you would rather not, then you can devise a custody schedule for holidays and special events.
You can use an old-fashioned pencil and paper or a cell phone app or spreadsheet. Whatever tool you choose, use it to create a list of all the holidays, birthdays and special occasions you know that you or your ex will want to celebrate with your children this year. Keep in mind that unexpected occasions may arise, such as a school concert or party. To start, however, simply list all the dates you are currently aware of, and determine which parent will have custody that day.
If you and your ex both feel strongly about celebrating holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas or Kwanzaa, etc., with your children, consider dividing the hours of the day. One of you can be with the children in the morning and part of the afternoon. The other one can have them for the evening and overnight. Another option is to host your celebration on a different day. In other words, you both have the kids for Christmas, for instance, but you celebrate Christmas Eve with them, and your ex gets Christmas Day.
Many Louisiana parents find it easiest to swap holiday time with their children by year after a divorce. In your family, this might mean that one year, you have your children for Christmas break and New Year, and your ex has them for Thanksgiving and Easter (or the Fourth of July or whatever holiday you choose). The following year, you trade off.
When both parents are committed to developing a fair and agreeable child custody schedule, it is possible to minimize the stress of a divorce and help the children continue their favorite holiday customs and traditions, making sure they have ample time with both parents.
]]>Bird nesting is a lawful and legitimate option for parents who don’t want their kids to have to move away from their family home following a divorce. There are several ways to nest and several important issues to consider before you determine whether this type of custody would work well for your family.
One way to nest after a divorce is for you and your ex to take turns living in the house you shared during marriage, where your children will continue to live full time. You are free to arrange the schedule any way you like, such as rotating every week, every three weeks, six weeks or whatever you decide. If you have spare rooms in the house, there is no need for both parents to use the same bedroom when they each stay with the kids. However, if that doesn’t bother you, or you only have one spare room, you can take turns sleeping in it.
The other way to nest is to live in the house at the same time, perhaps in different wings of the home, such as one parent upstairs and the other down, or whatever is possible. Maybe you will share a common area like the kitchen and living room but have your own private space for sleeping at night or entertaining guests. Some family analysts recommend a rotating schedule over this option for fear that children might develop false hopes of their parents reuniting in marriage if they live in the house simultaneously.
This type of custody arrangement isn’t for everyone. Factors of consideration include the ages and maturity levels of your children, how well (or not well) you and your ex get along, how you will split chores and home maintenance, and whether this will be a temporary or permanent arrangement.
You’ll also want to discuss adult issues, such as what the ground rules might be for having a new romantic partner over to visit. Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are a concern as well. Will you both be present for these events or work them into your rotating schedule? If you’re unsure about Louisiana child custody laws or how to write out a bird nesting agreement, it’s helpful to reach out for added support.
]]>In most cases, judges believe children fare best in a divorce when their parents share custody. If you are asking the court to grant you sole legal and physical child custody, you must be prepared to show that it’s in the children’s best interests to do so. For example, if your ex is addicted to drugs or alcohol, this would be a licit reason to request sole custody.
The following list shows numerous reasons why a concerned parent might seek sole custody of children in a divorce:
This is not an extensive list; there are many more reasons why a family court judge might consider it in a child’s best interests to award a parent sole custody in a divorce.
What if your ex is accusing you of some of the things on the previous list, but you know they’re untrue? You might feel angry, betrayed and frustrated when the court informs you that your ex has accused you of being an unfit parent, but it has happened to many other people in the past. In such a case, there would likely be an investigation, which would lead to a decision that may or may not go in your favor.
Divorce can be messy, and child custody proceedings can be complex and stressful. You do not have to stand alone in court. You can create a network of support that includes witnesses who are willing to testify to your fitness as a parent, as well as trusted family members and friends who can provide encouragement and a shoulder to lean on. Most importantly, always know where to seek support if you’re unable to resolve a child custody issue and have determined it best to address the matter in court.
]]>Parental alienation is a phrase that refers to an intentional scheme by one parent to turn children away from the other parent in a divorce. Such schemes can cause severe emotional and mental health trauma for kids, as well as for the parent who has fallen victim to the plan. In many cases, the parent doing the alienating may be disregarding a child custody order, in which case the court may decide to hold him or her in contempt.
Unless your former spouse is an unfit parent (i.e., has a substance abuse problem, is abusive, etc.), the court may determine that you should have a shared child custody arrangement because this is typically the best scenario for most kids following a divorce. Depriving you of seeing your children without legitimate (and legally acceptable) reasons is unlawful and may be damaging to your children’s well-being. The following list shows examples of ways one parent might try to alienate children from their other parent:
If you believe that your former spouse is trying to alienate your children from you following a divorce, you can bring the matter to the court’s attention.
Uncovering a parental alienation scheme in a divorce can be difficult. It’s also challenging to prove allegations if you inform the court that you suspect your ex of such behavior. Your children might show symptoms of alienation, including those listed here:
It can take a long time to recover from a parental alienation scheme following a Louisiana divorce. This is true for both children and victimized parents. The sooner you reach out for child custody support if you suspect this is happening, the better able to restore your relationship with your children you might be.
]]>