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How do I lovingly ask for a prenuptial agreement?

We have previously written about the benefits of drafting prenuptial agreements prior to marriage. In addition to protecting your interests and your romantic partner’s interests in the event of divorce, these legal contracts can help to ensure that your marriage is stronger, less filled with tension, more honest and more grounded in terms of financial expectations. Yet despite all these benefits, prenups do sometimes inspire stigmas. And as a result of these stigmas, you may feel hesitant about discussing them with your romantic partner.

You may be afraid that he or she will take your request as a sign that you are unsure about the longevity of your relationship. You may be concerned that asking for a prenup will bring up questions about trust. And you may also be frustrated that in order to draft a prenup you must think about the potential for divorce at the very time that you are likely planning a wedding. All of these concerns are valid. However, the benefits of drafting a premarital agreement often outweigh the burdens associated with facing down these fears.

When facing your fears, it is important to evaluate what you want out of the process and why. If you can be honest with yourself, you will place yourself in a better position to explain your motivations to your partner in a loving and non-threatening way. Even if he or she is resistant to the idea at first, if you present your ideas and concerns in a respectful, open and secure way, chances are that your romantic partner will at least be willing to consider the idea of drafting a prenup.

Source: Business Insider, “How To Ask For A Prenup Without Causing A Breakup,” Libby Kane, Sep. 23, 2014

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